With my whole heart – I Love You,
Your Average Person

I wrote this letter above because on my way to church last Sunday, God really began to deal with me on some things. I was sharing with my copilot and good friend, Nick about what God and I was wrestling with. My approach to church isn’t always great. There are some Sundays that sleeping in is definitely a much more viable option. There are some Sundays that it would be easier to just “go to church” and then leave right after service. There are some Sundays that I just want to reschedule the entire day. In case you missed my recent post about volunteering, check out Sunday’s Rest. As I discussed in Sunday’s Rest, when you get to see lives changing around you in creates what I call a volunteer high. It is awesome!

I have been approaching Sundays differently lately and as God has shown me that my approach wasn’t exactly correct. When I picked up Nick at 6:45am, I told him that I was an emotional basket case. He knew something was up because I was little bit early getting him. I was a little bit more excited and talkative that morning. So I began to share with him that I have been telling a good friend of mine about church. My friend, for the first time, didn’t reject the idea of attending church. My friend just kept responding with okays and yeahs. As I woke up that morning, I popped right out of bed opposed to dragging out on most days. As I shared with Nick (and cried for the 4th time that AM), this could be the day. This could be the day that my good friend would visit church. This could be the day that my friend gives a shot to church. This could be the day that my friend discovers God and gives his life over to Him. Now you will read about me not wanting to make a big deal about Sundays. Some churches even say today, it’s not about Sundays. I agree with all that they are “trying to say”. It’s not just about Sunday morning like most of us approach it. Some Christians approach their walk with Christ like a weekly stroll and only talk to him on Sunday from nine o’clock in the morning to right before lunch when they leave church so I understand that it’s not just about Sundays but rather than our walk with Christ and ministry from Monday thru Saturday. But Volunteering and reaching people is on Sunday and I haven’t really taken that into consideration. On Sunday, is where it manifests for most. Because of someone’s life or invitation to Sunday morning at our church, many people over the past year have decided to start their relationship with Christ. Sundays may not be a big deal to most. Honestly, I have intentionally made it not to be a big deal to me focusing on my daily (Sunday thru Saturday) walk thinking it is more important. Here is what is a huge deal: When someone says Yes to God. That is a big deal! That has happened on many Sundays for us at OneLife. I didn’t realize that my approach was a little inaccurate on Sundays until I thought someone very close to me was going to give church a shot. Then my approach was refocused. It didn’t change drastically. In fact, they still haven’t came to church but they keep telling me they might check it out. But in further research with one of the OneLife staffers, I have found out that we haven’t had a Sunday without a first time visitor. That is amazing! So when I wrote that letter above, I wrote it from my heart. God dealt with me about it so I signed it ‘Your Average Person’. Everyone that I have shared this with tells me of a friend or family member they wished would give God a shot and every Sunday I see people come in the doors of OneLife Church deciding to give the capital “C” Church and God a shot. Whether it has been a week or 15 years, like my family member, each and every Sunday some “Average Person’s” friend or family member makes that decision. So I share this note to you as I carry it with me each and every Sunday from now on. As a volunteer for my church, it is my calling to help God answer that prayer. It is for you, church volunteer, that I want to give you some encouragement and let you know that what you are doing is making a huge difference and just because we may not hear it or directly reap the benefits there is some family member on the other side of the phone when they receive that phone call that evening. They hear about the transformation of a life because of what you and I gather to do and help make happen on Sunday mornings! I can promise you this one thing, getting involved in your church is the most rewarding ministries that you can do.

In our early stages of parenthood, Crissy and I was introduced to colic. Let me start by saying there are some people in this world that I have not cared for very much at all but I would never wish a colicy baby on any of them. We had Keagan in January of 2009 and to be truthful about it, we didn’t experience the “unimaginable love” that people say they feel right after having their children. In fact, we weren’t real fond of him. You see we were surrounded by perfect, sleep-all-night, no real issues babies. As I have blogged about before, Keagan was not one of those. He began screaming around 6:30pm and didn’t stop until wee hours of the night. Upon visiting multiple doctors, we finally landed with Dr. Peeden in West Knoxville. He diagnosed Keagan with Colic and Acid Reflux. I knew what Acid Reflux was but still curious about Colic, I began to probe with questions and research online. Colic is basically a blanket diagnoses meaning, as Dr. Peeden stated, “we don’t have any idea why they won’t stop crying.” Now, in my research and Dr. Peeden’s knowledge, I have learned that in the past 10 years they are finally looking at babies with undeveloped digestive track which cause Acid Reflux. In those past 10 years, doctors are more likely to look at the Acid Reflux diagnoses rather than Colic but again Colic is a blanket diagnosis that covers “there isn’t really anything majorly wrong”.

As I have intentionally spent more time in God’s Word, he has began to transform me from the inside out like Josh Duncan spoke about Sunday. I have some strange fascination with the lives of the disciples. Through indulging into their lives I have learned that I am just a Colicy Christian. As always, I want this blog to be completely transparent. I have been to some pretty deep lows in my life amidst a gambling addiction and a victim of rape but I will have to say that I have never been crucified upside down like a couple of the disciples were because they wouldn’t deny Christ. I don’t suffer the persecution about my faith when I share it. I am reminding about the girl that sat in the library during Columbine reading her bible when one of the gunmen approached her and said, “Say that God isn’t real and I will let you live.” She didn’t. She stood firm in her faith that day and it was her last. You see, that is stuff I never have even imagined dealing with. I have a friend that travels to Russia for basketball camp where they form friendships with guys (through basketball), when they get home they begin to open up a dialogue about Christ. Do you know that you can be executed in Russia for that? I have to openly admit that I am a Colicy Christian. In my life, I have just done a lot of whining when nothing was really wrong. I have spent sometime merely screaming just to hear my own cries or get attention. How can I continue to whine when I really don’t have any idea of what true persecution feels like? I am not trying to belittle the things that we go through life but really why do we continue to worry about such minor things? You don’t think God can just give you money? You don’t think God can’t just fix the marriage issue or find a job? Instead of concentrating so much on the most minor issues, if we quit crying long enough to seek and listen to God, I know that he will give us the answers that we are so ever searching for.

rest; noun – relief or freedom, especially from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs.

What I said about OneLife calling this volunteering. . . ? I understand what they are “meaning” by using the term volunteering but it is not exactly correct it my book. I know that I am volunteering my time of a few hours on Sunday but what I am really doing is following God by serving and that is what I love about my Sunday. You see, I am writing this blog post from some of the busiest and hectic Sundays lately at OneLife. We have had everything from a video sermon for both services on Sunday to a wedding. You read that right. Somebody(s) got themselves downright hitched! I am also writing this blog post on an absolute mental and spiritual high. I am pretty excited about what God is . . . pretty excited is a gross underestimated use of terms here . . . I am completely and utterly stoked about what God is doing at OneLife Church. I am reminded everytime that I pick up Nick on Sunday morning that maybe, just maybe, my life made a difference in him because of that time when we sat at Outback Steakhouse for dinner and I told him about this new church that I was getting involved with that met at a high school. Or it’s when someone reached out on a social networking site to an old friend an invited her and her family to this little church called OneLife that was only a few months old. By the way, that invite landed Ami and her new husband Larry directly on center stage last Sunday cause they decided to make a commitment to each other and God in front of all of us at OneLife Church. It blows my mind because I know some of the back story and I know that Ami wouldn’t mind me sharing. When Ami was initially invited to church, her response was “Honestly, I just don’t want to be disappointed by another church”. I completely understand that but that was her on center stage last Sunday experiencing a life altering moment!

So back to volunteering . . . you can call it that. That is what OneLife will coin the phrase. Volunteer. I think it really has something to do with Pastor Rodney’s obsession with the University of Tennessee but who I am to judge, right? I’m equally obsessed as well. You can call it volunteering or getting involved but you see I know it differently . . . I know it differently because I extended the invite to Ami and Larry. I know it differently because Nick jumps in the truck Sunday in and out. I know it differently because I was able to read an email from someone that we told OneLife about at cookout at our home. The email was written by sister in law and it was addressed to our senior Pastor:

I sit here today on my blog and think back to three years ago to the most memorable day that I will ever know. With 200+ of our closest friends and family gathered around outside on a side porch of a house in Lenoir City, TN, I took grasp of the greatest blessing God has given me and made you my wife. A couple years before that I would never have imagined we would be sharing those moments on that porch, especially in high school when you shot me down several times. Glad you came around! Today, as we acknowledge our anniversary three short years ago, I can’t imagine life without you. You, Keagan, and currently expecting Gavin, have completely turned my life upside right. Many times you ask me about Keagan and you say, “Did you ever think that you could love something so much?” In fact, I knew that I could because 5 years ago that God had shared with me that I had met the mother of my children… I knew then. I knew then that I could love something so much that life would be unbearable without it and it was you. From that day as we have battled some “roller coaster” moments, but my love for you and our family has only grown stronger over time. I think about the year that we grew the closest praying for Keagan and now how we plan for our house to grow even more with Gavin. I have taken these past few days to reflect on the good times and what has held us together through some of the most trying times. I am so glad that you are in my life and truly don’t want to think about how empty it would be without you and the boys. Thank you for supporting me in all my crazy endeavors. Thank you for loving me with all my mess that I brought to the table. Most of all thank you for loving and helping me raise up two crazy amazing boys.

I remember about the talks and plans that we have shared over the past three years and absolutely blown away by what has took place. I remember a few years ago when we returned from Hilton Head Island, SC, we planned our entire wedding on the trip home. Or when we were house shopping and we discussed the house plan that we wanted only to find the exact house for our budget. I also thought about when we talked about Keagan and you said things like, “I want him to look like his Daddy and have his complexion.” I think about those things and realize that all those things have come true. It’s hard for me to dismiss those things as just coincidences. I know that the big man upstairs is looking out for us and has been from the beginning. I absolutely love you and our life together. Today, more any than other, as we celebrate our three year anniversary, I just wanted to tell you how much I truly love you!

Tim’s joy would be very short lived due to the follow up news by the doctor. They had nearly completed the delivery when other complications arose. Tim was faced with an unimaginable decision. The doctor informed Tim that he had a healthy son with a full head of hair but they were at a point in the surgery where there wasn’t anyway to be able to save all of Tim’s new found family. He would have to choose between his high school sweetheart, the love of his life or his only son. As he weighed the decisions in his mind, he would think about the separation of he and his soul mate wondering how to decide. What if he decided to give up his son and then still never speak to Cara again? But how could he make it if Cara was no longer in his world? Tim finally made the decision to give up his son for his bride. His son had lived a very short life and done absolutely nothing wrong but Tim was absolutely in love with Cara. He was jealous of the relationship they once had. Tim did not want to live life without Cara.

As I sit here and share this story with my wife 7 months pregnant, some parts of the story are absolutely gut wrenching and unbearable but yet we can read a bumper sticker, a T-shirt, or the bible and just breeze past John 3:16 which tells us a very similar story about God. However, Tim and Cara are names. They are people who we can closer understand because we truly don’t completely understand the whole “god thing” anyways. The story of Tim and Cara is much more tangible for us because we can relate to it closer but the facts are that God watched His only Son be completely tortured and die on the cross, just hoping to reunite the relationship God with us like he once had with Adam. Many times we think that God is just sitting up there in Heaven waiting for us to screw things up so He can throw a lightning rod at us to show us the error of our ways but that’s not even close to what God is like. God is love, period. Examine 1 Corinthians 13, where God lays out what love is:
“13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.”

Francis Chan gives us a great way to do a self-examination but also to view God in the correct light. Let’s replace the word “love” with God and reread this verse.
God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, God is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails. Wow! Now that is the God we serve!

Here is a revelation to some of us, too. Bypass all the good things that Jesus did when he was on the earth. Skip all the miracles, bypass all the teachings, go on past everything we know about Jesus to this point. God sent His son Jesus to this earth for one reason, us! Now, don’t twist this up. I am not denying anything that Jesus did when he was here but that wasn’t why He came. God sent His son to this earth so we would have everlasting life with him and live our lives abundantly (John 10:10). That’s it! God was so jealous of the relationship that He once had with Adam that He watched His son take a whip across his back separating the flesh from His ribs; He watched His son hang on the cross until He physically vomited and suffocated to death because of the weight and pressure on his lungs. Did God do that so that we would fit him into our busy schedule whenever we could find time to sit down after lunch or talk to Him as we fall asleep? You should ask Tim if it was okay for him to make that decision. For him to give up the only son that he would ever have if Cara would just call him or text him from time to time. God watched his only son be tortured and die because He loves us that much! Tim didn’t know if he and Cara would ever speak again but what he did know that Cara was the apple of his eye, the light of his world, and he wanted that so much that he was willing to allow his only son die in hopes that Cara would choose to have that relationship with him again. Its exactly what God thought too. He loves us so much that nothing else matters. He allowed His son die for us to have a relationship with Him. To bridge the separation that sin created.

As I have explained before, growing up my view of God was distorted for whatever reason. I thought that God was sitting up in Heaven with a constipated look on his face ready to throw down some discipline. Even until I just rewrote 1 Corinthians for this post, it blows my mind. After writing that, I just began to love God a little more. My battles with self-esteem throughout my life could have been completely cured if I would have thought about God the way that I see him today. God is not just here to discipline us; He is jealous for us and wants us to seek him weekly, daily, hourly. God, that created all these amazing things in this world, loves us more than anything He created. We are God’s favorite toy! His favorite invention or creation. How awesome is that?

I hope that you will be challenged to seek God on your own account and you will find out that He loves you as much as I have found out that He loves me. I pray that you will began a daily relationship with Him and live life to the fullest. I, most of all, hope that you become radically, crazy in love with God because that is what the creator of the universe wants most of anything in this world.

So here is where the rubber hits the road for me. My wife never knew that I was cheating on her. I had never discussed this issue with anyone in my family or even my closest friends, so no body knew. It was my secret and my nightmare. I have dealt with it quite a bit on my own since 2006 when I decided to rejoin my family’s business. Somethings have changed with the birth of our first son, Keagan Eyre, and it really helped when we created a position at the family business for Crissy allowing us to spend more time together but even then there were several times that I cheated. My wife was never really aware of all the facts. This particular issue is an generational problem that stems back as far as the stories are told and my bible tells me that I can either accept that and pass it on to the next generation or decide to create my own family legacy. You see, my grandfather’s father did such and such. My grandfather was a diesel mechanic. My dad use to tell me that he would work his shift, maybe two, bring his paycheck home, go to bed and then back at it again in the morning. My father, by far the hardest working man you will ever met, still to this day racks up a 80-100 hour work week. In college and even still some today when I am talking to peers, it is hard for me to relate to them about work. It blows some friends’ minds that my cousin and I pull 60+ hours a week and have been since the age of I can’t remember. Hensleys are bread winners. We are work horses. That’s it. Plain. Simple. To the point. My father’s favorite or most used saying, as he slaps the back of his right hand face up into the palm of his left hand (I know that you just tried that), he reiterates “Get the job done!” That is what us Hensley’s are programmed to do. Get the job done!

That is why on mine and Crissy’s first vacation with her father and mother last year to Hilton head, there was no way they would understand. Roger, her dad, didn’t understand why I took my computer tower and multiple monitors or why I also packed my laptop, charger, and backup lithium ion batteries. He just didn’t really understand how we Hensley’s are wired. We are always getting the job done, period. He even laughed and made the comment that I “should just throw that thing in the ocean” talking about my phone because of its constant ringing. Actually, I felt the same way at the time but, again, Roger didn’t understand. I even joked back and forth with Roger telling him about “our family business” and the fact that none of us get “vacations”. We all have “working vacations”. In essence, we just take our office where our family goes and work the best we can. But as Roger basked in the sun – crisping on either side, I sat in the lawn chair, buried my feet in sand and began to redesign our family business’ new website, I remember thinking, “it’s just hard for anyone to understand.” I also remembering having one goal for that vacation. Get the website completed. Sound familiar? Get the [fill in the blank] done! That was my only goal for eight days and seven nights.

For some reason, this morning I skeptically decided to crack open that book by Andy Stanley while I was getting ready for work. I promise to you even this morning, I didn’t think this book nor Andy Stanley understood the same thing that Roger didn’t understand last year on vacation. They don’t understand, Number One, the Automotive Industry where it’s feast or famine. One phone call or one day missed at work could cost thousands of dollars. They don’t understand. Number two, they don’t understand how we Hensley(s) are wired. With my toothbrush in my right hand and the small hard bound book in my left hand, I began what I believe may be the most life changing book that I have yet to read cover to cover. As I began the first chapter, it completely captivated me. It opened up about one of the “big wigs” that worked his way up the corporate ladder through General Motors and would take the reigns of Saturn which was at the time GM’s new franchise. WOW! Okay, so the book knew about the auto industry and the hours it demanded. But then it went on to discuss the driven workaholic and that just focused on “Getting the Job Done!” As tears filled up my eyes and the knot became unbearable in my throat, I laid the book down at my feet, placed my back against the sink, burying my head into my knees and just wept. I had just read the following passage:

“Your problem is not discipline. Your problem is not organization. Your problem is not that you have yet to stumble onto the perfect schedule. And your problem is not that the folks at home demand to much of your time. The problem is there is not enough time to get everything done that you are convinced — or others have convinced you — needs to get done.”

Beginning in 2006 with my return to the family business, to the Unleash Conference, through the new series at OneLife, and now today with this book, all my emotions, hurt, pain, anger, & frustration came to a head. I admitted to myself that I was cheating my wife and my family. There are times that I have chosen to give my undivided attention & my energy to everything but them. There are nights that I have chosen to work a couple of extra hours to get caught up on emails, etc… only to regret it when I arrive at home because I find my son, Keagan, fast asleep and realize that I missed the so easily overlooked playtime before bed where we just roll around in the living room floor laughing. There are days that I will talk to 20+ complete strangers and divulge myself into their lives asking pertinent questions about them and their families only to come home and not muster up the energy to ask my wife how her day went.

Twelve days away from vacation, I reflect back to last year at Hilton Head and think about Roger and I’s experience throughout that week while he was on vacation and I was just working out of my mobile office stationed in the hotel room. I have actually done some extensive research about those eight days and seven nights. I took 87 work related phone calls that is more than 10 calls per day with one of those phone calls lasting over and hour and a half. I sorted through hundreds of emails directly responding to over 300 of them. I corresponded with people back at work to complete several deals. In fact, I had to rush back to the lot prior to leaving to gather the entire family for a photograph for a magazine that featured our company. That choice would put everyone about 2 hours late (because they were waiting on us) the next morning. Roger’s quiet demeanor and frosted-white hair should scream wisdom and experience to me but as I reflect back I only think that my adolescence is just my ignorance once again. The fact is that I think that Roger does get it, he does understand! Roger and I will once again be traveling to Hilton Head in two weeks as I begin to talk less and listen more because after being with the same company for 20+ years, he understands that there isn’t enough of him to go around so he channels his energy, his time, and his attention to his wife of 30+ years, to his children and their spouses, and now to his grandchildren.

The greatest thing that I am learning from this book right now is that there is always loose ends. Whether it be at work or at home, there is always something left to do. But if there has to be a loose end left undone somewhere, where would you want it to be? Would you want that loose end to be in your marriage or your job? The book goes on to talk about what we are called to do in our marriage vs. what thousands of people can be hired to do at our job. Do you want that loose end to be between your next promotion or your children? The answers are always easy to say just as much as my intentions are always good but the fact is that in 3 short years I have cheated on my wife with my career. Another excerpt from the first chapter reads like this:

“Never once have my kids looked at me and said, “Hey Dad, we’ve played enough. Why don’t you run back in the house and see if you can get some work done. Never once has Sandra [Andy Stanley's wife] complained about me coming home too early or doing too many things to help her around the house.”

Other than Crissy’s father Roger and my dad, it’s going to be hard to find two men that I respect more than Perry Noble of NewSpring Church or Rodney Arnold of OneLife but quickly rising is Andy Stanley. At the Unleash Conference, Perry Noble made a monumental statement for me by saying, “If your business can’t survive without you for a few days while you are spending time with your family, your business isn’t that good.” Secondly, in Part 1 of All American Family Feud (watch it here), our new series at OneLife, Rodney shared something that I will never forget for as long as I live when he talked about his and Harrison’s current pregnancy. He was talking about another wide spread myth of having to stop doing all the things for and with your spouse because a baby has entered the picture. He went on to say, “We are going to go out and eat. We are going to have date nights. We are going to pay the baby sitters. We are going to go out of town for a three day weekend and drop the kids off with the grandparents. Is it going to be easy? No. In fact, it’s going to be expensive. But do you know what it is cheaper than? Divorce.” That so rings true for me while I am dealing with this struggle to reprioritize what is truly important in my life. Rodney’s point rings so loudly in my life because a day off in the “automotive industry” may make you miss a sale, lose profit, reduce commission, or effect bonuses which directly affects your family, right? Crissy knows how much it bothers me to return to work or answer a phone call and hear that they sold nine cars on my day off or something to that nature. As workaholics or bread winners over generations we (mainly men) have bought into the myth that the most important thing that we can bring to the dinner table is food by way of providing for our family at work which is completely false. The most important thing that can be at the dinner table is us.

Even upon my father’s own admission, he has made sacrifices that he regrets such as his family, our relationship, as well as his relationship with my sister, Amanda. Remember I told you my father was the hardest working man you will ever meet? It’s because its true! I hope to share more of the story of how he single handedly put his family on his shoulders and carried them out of the cockroach infested, condemned houses he was raised in and beat the poverty stricken legacy that plagued our family for generations. Just as any physical training goes, there are times of pain which directly means growth or atonement of muscles. There are going to be times where this is uncomfortable, hard, and even frustrating for all of us, especially us men. But I encourage you to not give up. I promise you that I won’t. I can’t wait to continue to indulge in this journey God is taking me through and share every moment with you on my blog.

Allow me to walk you through this day. Two female friends get up on Sunday morning and decide to visit a local church. Upon entering the church they “meet and greet” several people as they are wishing them the general welcomes and hellos. Then a prominent leader of the church says to one of the ladies, “We just want you to know that we don’t believe in gays and lesbians here…” In complete shock, friend A says to friend B, “I don’t think I feel very comfortable here.” Friend A, that has no idea yet of the comment made by THE prominent leader of that church, says, “I agree, I am just getting a weird vibe.” So they leave. Before anything they just walk out.

Ironically, my frustration isn’t the fact that my friends were stereotyped, judged, and felt verbally condemned even before they heard one ounce of worship or scripture, well… maybe it is some of it. I guess it not about my friends, it’s about people. I know the two ladies involved in this situation but my frustration is the fact that whoever in that church, that day said this had no idea about these ladies. Let me put this into worst case context that I can think of so that your mind can expand some on Sunday morning when greeting the next person at church. Maybe my friends got out of the same car, laughing, joking, cutting up and having a wonderful morning. Maybe one of them had their arm around the other as they continued to laugh. Maybe one of them said to the other, “I love you” as they entered the church. That’s all worst case context right? Let me share something that I can not comprehend. I can not mentally comprehend the bond of two ladies that have been married to someone for 20+ years and then lose them. I can not comprehend that bond because I haven’t been there so I don’t know the emotions that these two ladies which both are widows have built. I do know though that they are best friends.

Here is where my frustration comes in though. Let’s change the dynamic some of the situation. Let’s make the ladies in their 20s and they were seen kissing in the parking lot before service so we can only assume that they are a “couple”. They decide to come to church and leave within 20 minutes of being there infuriates me. What is the moral to this story… there are several:

• People don’t go to church to meet and greet
• People go to church to experience God, not you
• If people can’t find love at church… where do you think they look?
• The answer to previous bullet: Sex, Prostitution, Gangs, Alcohol, Gambling, Pimps, do I need to continue?
• If the right people are being invited to your church, “church people” will feel uncomfortable
• (just in case) point 4 cont’d: Cocaine, Marijuana, Heroine, LSD, and the list goes on…
• I will be completely UNAPOLOGETIC about ticking off or making “church people” uncomfortable to reach the lost… and I think that you should do the same

My now good friend asked me this several months ago and I completely dodged the question. I offered up some jokes, created some laughter, and threw out some things like my work, social media, & technology. I gave him just the basic answers. I have always known my passion but completely burned as of late so I didn’t want to share it with anyone. Even today, while writing this post, I won’t share my passion. I will refer to my passion as IT for the remainder of my blog for a variety of reasons. Being felt burned by “church(es)”, by people, and by my own agenda at times is not why I don’t want to share IT with you. As a former “church skeptic”, I want you to watch God do His thing from distance. I will continue to refer to IT throughout my blog and will dedicate many posts just about my passion. I love to share what is going on in our lives through my blog but I want to invite you on this journey with me. Let’s first be clear on what being passionate means. Should be a fairly simple answer to the question, “What would you do if money didn’t matter?” If you didn’t have to worry about bills, mortgages, car payments, credit card debt, and everything else life hands us, what would you do? I have had some answer these questions with, “I’d be a high school football coach, not a teacher but just a coach!” That is actually one of my answers but it’s not IT that I am writing about. IT is much bigger than that. I have had one say, “I would opening a free tutoring school for inner city kids.” Another friend said, “I would buy a riding lawn mower and mow elderly peoples’ grass that couldn’t do it them-selves.” From these examples, you can see where their passion lies. All of my friends that have told me have already formulated a plan to reach their passion because we think about this every single day of our lives. For me, I would give up everything for IT. So, vaguely, let me introduce you to my passion, IT.

I thought that I had discovered my true passion at a very young, football. I just knew this was the desire of my heart. During my senior year of high school, as God was trying to shake me up a little to get me focused on IT (and off of football), I listened some but continued steadfast on the “desire of my heart”, Tennessee Football. The University of Tennessee was my only option. My mom had always pushed me to do whatever I put my mind to and instilled in me many verses which many are now my “life-verses” like Phillipians 4:13, “I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me.” Another one is Matthew 6:33, “Seek God and His Kingdom first, and He shall give you the desires of you heart.” On the other hand, my father was what he called himself, a realist. He always told me, “Son, you got to have a Plan B & Plan C to fall back on!” Well, like any good son, I made a Plan B & Plan C. Plan A was to play middle linebacker at the University of Tennessee. Plan B was to play Fullback. Plan C was to move to a new position for me called Tight End. I had great hands in high school so I could make the transition. Going into my senior year of high school, when guys were thinking about cars, girls, and prom. I hit two-a-days (summer football practice) with 30lbs of extra weights on me in hip weights, chest weights, ankle-weights. I knew that I continued to practice with an extra 30lbs on me, I would play at a much faster, stronger, and bigger pace in the games. As the letters began to hit the mailbox and the papers came out, I began to thank God for what he was doing for me. Elected football Captain by my teammates, I gave God all the “public” glory that I knew how to do but I continued only listen to him when I had time. I began to focus on the wrong part of Matthew 6:33. Here was the Bradley James version of that verse, “Seek God and His Kingdom when you have some spare time, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” So I was knocking it out given my own translation of bible. Then I very strongly believe that God showed me how minute that I was. He introduced me to a sprinkler. I stood at 6’0’’, 247lbs., holding the high school bench press and squat records and God introduced me to a sprinkler. I ran the 40yd dash in less than 4.8 secs and had 36” thighs that squatted over 750lbs. I could shed three blockers with my 380lb bench press strength and take the complete breathe from an opposing quarterback or ball carrier. The previous scrimmage at Campbell County I would record 27 tackles, 2 interceptions, and 124 yards rushing with 8 receptions out of the backfield. God was good! We had the entire defense designed around the middle linebacker, me. The offense was game planned around where I was. I just knew that God had placed me right where I needed to be to fulfill my heart’s desires but then, He introduced me to a sprinkler.

You may not know where or what the 5^th metatarsal is and I am glad because I want to discuss this 5^th metatarsal with you in complete medical terminology so that this injury would seem as tragic as possible. With what I am about to share, you can very well put a “super-spiritual, churchy” spin on it and say it was the devil just trying to cause grief in your life, blah, blah, blah, but that IS NOT what happened. Perry Noble at Unleash said it best when he said, “God will bring you to a place where you are desperate for Him because that is what He desires.” That is what happened. God introduced me to a sprinkler where I would have a simple fracture in the 5^th metatarsal on my right foot. Sounds serious right? I used this terminology throughout high school while I was on crutches for many reasons but just mostly girls attention, LOL (my wife is going to go off about this). So what exactly happened in “non-medical” terms. I broke my pinky toe. I can look back on this now and hear God saying, “Hello, excuse me, Brad, do I have your attention now? This is God and we need to talk about your heart’s desires. They are going to need to change.”

Here I sit almost 11 years later as God begins to shake me once again about IT.
So, I truly want to share this journey the 100+ people that read my blog. But I really want to hone in on the “prayer skeptic” that reads this each week. I read your comments, Facebook posts, and see your thumbs up from time to time. I am writing this post specifically for you. I want you to know that IT is above all else in my life and I am praying like man that has gone insane. This time I will choose to follow Job’s example and say, “God, at all costs, I have decided to follow you.” I encourage you
to monitor the ‘Passion’ posts and watch this thing unfold. You are the main reason for deciding to write this in this manner. Many times myself, I have wondered if prayer really works. If you are wondering today, it does and God is going to prove it as I blog about IT. IT may not happen today but God has showed IT to me. IT will happen. When IT happens, you’ll know. If you see that I have quit my job, sold the house, gave away everything we own. You can say, I remember when Brad wrote about something like this. As some of you know that our family’s business is expanding which puts me in a similar position as I was in high school because it is a place that I have always wanted to be. But do not be mistaken when God doesn’t have to show me how minute I am again or break another pinky toe for me to listen. God showed me this 11 years ago and I am no dummy. He is beginning to shake my life once again, upside down and I choose to listen. This time I can see. I can hear. I can follow. IT will be life changing.

If you want to follow posts just about my passion or IT you can do so by clicking on the right side under Categories. I have created a new category called, “Passion”.

“Don’t know if you could help me out with this or not. There is girl who lives here in Knoxville that my worship team at OneLife has been praying for. She has cancer and is losing. Well it just spread to her pancreatic. She has a baby that is still in diapers, as well. Not a good situation. She does not have health insurance to my knowledge and has stop treatment because she can not afford it, on top of that she has to drive back and fourth from Knoxville to Nashville once a week. Husband is having a hard time with work because of the traveling. Anyways, this breaks my heart. I have a passion for helping people. ”

After having that email being reiterated over and over in my head, I couldn’t help but wonder if the lady in front of me holding the little boy was the lady that was anonymous in my email… so I spoke to her. I told her that I liked her earrings. I said everything that I could to encourage her thinking that this may be the lady that my friend emailed me about. But then, I saw another young woman come out of OneLife Kidz that had a boy in her hands. The thought hit me again, “what if this is her?” So I spoke, with encouragement and discussed how she had the same shoes that my wife had at home and that my wife loved them. Then, another lady exited with a boy (still in diapers). OneLife Kidz is growing fast, LOL! Total there was 5 boys in the “Crawlers & Under” room, including Keagan which is ours. This instance repeated a few times but all I could think about is “maybe I can speak some sunshine into a dark world right now with what is going on in this woman’s life”. Then God showed up. God made me realize something that I didn’t really take into consideration before this email. This is the epitome of ministry. It’s not standing on the corner of the street yelling at people and trying to scare them out of Hell but it is showing them love; showing them Jesus. I realized that I was providing a different kind of treatment to each of these ladies because of information that was revealed to me through this email. I was providing a Cancer Treatment. I couldn’t help but continually think that this could be one of the ladies that I spoke with last days here on earth. I just wanted to compliment them, encourage them, and show them some out-of-the-way kind words. The bible tells me to live each day as it is my last but I have never lived each day as it was someone else’s last. So what if we do this? You want to talk about not regretting anything! Encouraging people, lifting up friends, family members, & complete strangers every day. Now that has to be part of the bountiful life that God has promised us.

Jesus isn’t the Pinnacle and OneLife Church isn’t the only church in town. So many times through my blog I write about OneLife Church and what we are experiencing that sometimes I might take friends & readers’ focus off of why we go sharing where we go. We go to OneLife Church but we go there to discover God. Through my blog and my life, I hope to be completely transparent with you as well as to just encourage you to discover God in whatever theater, church, or faucet that you choose. If you don’t have a place that you call home, I will definitely extend the invite to you to join us at OneLife on Sunday. In fact, beginning Easter Sunday we will be going to two services (10:00am & 11:30am). But here is my flip side. If you have a church that you call home, do a few things for me. First, quit complaining “the church” as I did for over a year. If we consider ourselves christians then we are part of “the church”. Secondly, be selfish and get involved. So many times we go to church for our experience and what we can get out of it. If you want to be really selfish (in a good way) talk to your Pastor or Volunteer Coordinator about how you can get involved throughout the week or on Sundays. I promise you that assisting your church in reaching lost souls for Christ will be the most rewarding thing that you will do throughout the week.

I strongly believe that it is as absurd to go any extended amount of time without giving them praise as it is to not give them food. But as you read about my astounding discovery for parenting you are appalled at the fact that I would do such a thing when we all, everyday, just go another day without saying thank you very much instead of thanks. Or you are awesome instead of it was okay. How about I love you…? Those are some pretty hard words to say especially for us men. I believe that the nourishment of one’s self esteem is much greater than the nourishment of the physical body. Maybe you aren’t a parent so I will ask you something different? When is the last time you praised your spouse? Your co-workers? Your Pastor? How about church leadership? Employees or Bosses? Next to our sexual desire, the desire to be wanted, needed, or feel important is one of the greatest desires of humankind. Whatever your faucet of life is, this applies to you. In ministry…? Try praising people instead of condemning them. If they don’t increase their productivity at all, begin thinking about your witness.

Now, before DCS comes knocking on my door, this story is extremely absurd and false. I think it is stupid to starve your children for any reason. I was just using the parable to get you to understand the importance of praising people. If you surround yourself with people that you are constantly lifting up then it is inevitable that you start floating higher yourself.